ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Less talking, more tequila
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize