i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
