remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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