This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
