Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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