im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
