party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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