There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
