Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
