Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
