i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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