She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
