His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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