remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
