My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
