Plan B is the new Plan A
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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