i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she told me i tasted like america
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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