Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i out mim tonsoeep
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
