She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you had me at cake vodka
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
