I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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