We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize