anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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