It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
