How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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