another moral hangover. fuck.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Congratulations! We have a period
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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