i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
How's work?
Spinning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
