I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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