love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
