this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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