she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize