Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
