That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize