$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
