At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
