I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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