to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
