I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
