Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Randomize
