I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
