No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
