Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
