Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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