Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
