she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
