Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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