We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
