Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
