Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
