you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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