I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
