I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
