I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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