girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
