Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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