This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
