what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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