Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
