If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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