Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
