I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
