everyone is single if you try hard enough
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
